Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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