Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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