We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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