I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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