Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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