He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
