just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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