I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
