piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
