If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
