Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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