You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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