If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
