At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
