I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
