i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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