if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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