I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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