just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dicks are not precious.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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