Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
