After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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