Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
