please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
