u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So here I am, sexting at work.
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