Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
