I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
