If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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