He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
