That's intense
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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