Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
