He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
