I wannas sexs uuuuu
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
