just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
