sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
