Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
