How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
