she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
