Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
