She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
