oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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