he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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