New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
