Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
