careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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