god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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