Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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