My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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