glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
