I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
