Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
