i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
