well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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