Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
